Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I could fuck to npr.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
