ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize