we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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