i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
