i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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