the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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