Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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