Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
