you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I need a beard to bite.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
