would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
