Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
