he shaved USA in his pubs
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
