white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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