drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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