Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
