well I can't set my house on fire every night
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
