Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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