Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
