o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
