i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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