walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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