Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
