another moral hangover. fuck.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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