I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
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