you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I didn't notice because vodka
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
