My liver just broke up with me...
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize