Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
