u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
