I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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