Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
