Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
