No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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