did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
This is my gift to your gina
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize