I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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