AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
