Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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