His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize