i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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