The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
home. puking in laundry basket.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
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