My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
