is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize