just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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