We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I think people are normalizing furries
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
