When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Randomize
