whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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