You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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