My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
