He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
