its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
