i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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