you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
