In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
