Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
