yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize