So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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