She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
