is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
