ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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