WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
