he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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