her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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