Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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