some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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