Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
