I want to stick my p in your. b.
I didn't shave. On purpose
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
No subtext here. People are naked.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize