You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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